Monday, August 25

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Maggie’s first day of school- 1st Grade

Tomorrow I go back to school, as teacher, of course but this process of having the summer off and then starting again with all the hopes of inspiring lives and committing myself to really accomplishing great things with my students, always gives me pause. I love the teaching process, I love it when a student clicks with doing service or part of the curriculum. I also really like teaching because it forces me to grow and improve. I know there are always parts of it that I could do better and at those times when I am impatient with a student or lean toward sarcasm that I need to step back and remember that each student is an individual and needs to be nurtured. This year, I am determined to reach the student who gives up or for whatever reason doesn’t thrive. I know I’m teaching high school, but I’m going to try to work with those students who aren’t handing in work or aren’t participating. I’m going to take a few minutes at the end of each teaching day and write my thoughts about students who may need an extra nudge.

Yesterday morning I woke up and I felt happy, right off. Now, I need to explain because I am generally a happy person but since I was diagnosed with breast cancer 3 1/2 years ago, I’ve had a huge weight on my shoulders. And then the horrible surprise, last January of the brain tumor really threw me for a spin. I didn’t realize until yesterday, just how subdued I’ve been but when I woke up and I felt happiness and also hope, I knew there was a difference in me. For these 3 1/2 years, the first thought in the morning has been “I have cancer” and then the realization hits me all over again. But today and yesterday were different. I’m not sure why but I take great hope in the fact that I feel so positive about the future. I also feel really good, physically. My head no longer hurts or feels a bit strange and I have this desire to run and bike and get into super shape!

Sometimes during the day, the thought hits me that I may get to live. I don’t think you can understand how that feels unless you’ve been in a situation where living was in question for you. It feels amazing and miraculous to think that I may get to enjoy the future especially when it comes to my family, children and grandchildren. I not only want to enjoy the future with them but I want to be there when they need me. I am incredibly grateful for each day because it every way it is a gift.

Hiking last Saturday, August 23 above Silver Lake at Brighton. Notice the snow on the mountains that fell the night before. Looks like we may have a great ski year. Taylor, Kate and Alex. We saw 3 moose on the trail.

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