Quote of the Day: The one unchangeable certainty is that nothing is unchangeable or certain. John F. Kennedy
From Waking the Warrior Goddess: Use only nontoxic cleaning products in your home and office.
88 days until my last chemo treatment- my goal is to run or stair-master at least 5 miles per day- that will be 440 miles by the time June 28 rolls around. This morning we walked 2.59 miles.
Thanks for the nice notes from Marty Richmond, Christy Penrod and Pocket Angel from Shelley Ebersole!
A lot of talks at conference dealt with suffering and I have been pondering this subject much as my second chemo looms- to come into view in enlarged form- ever nearer, tomorrow. I do think there is truth in that we are able to forget pain to a certain degree that allows us to face up-coming pain. As you think of the future event, your mind or heart wants so badly to believe that it will be better next time, so believe on! I have my chemo administered at the IMC Hospital right next to Costco. When we neared Costco for shopping a few days ago, I started to feel nauseas. I can only image what I’m going to feel like after a few more treatments. I may have to shop elsewhere! One of my bookclub friends that went through chemo said that she developed anxiety issues during chemo. Emotionally, it’s a mountain. I’m so glad I have so many people willing to go through this with me.
One thing that was said in regards to suffering is that you can only learn the lessons needed through suffering- something no one wants to hear. I remember thinking after I got this cancer diagnosis, that I was part of this club- this understanding club- that you could only be a part of if you had experienced a crisis. That I could relate to others in a way that I hadn’t been able to before. That I knew what it felt like to be down on the ground, down on your luck, perhaps humbled is a much better word and now since I had to go through this, I could relate and understand. It rings true for me. You can empathize and sympathize, but nothing gives you growth like going through adversity. It’s is the Lord’s cleansing power and sometimes it feels like it is leaving us weaker, but really it is intended to make us more perceptive and kinder.
It feels like I am being left behind in so many arenas- school, running, tennis and yet I have this darling group of running friends who walk with me each morning so I get to talk with them and I know they will be patient on the days when I will be walking slower and grateful to just get outside. Today at tennis, it felt great to play. I still have to do a wuzzy second serve since I can’t get my right arm above my shoulder, but I love that you can compensate. It just seems that all I’ve been through has changed the lens through which I see the world. Tennis is so much about winning games and worrying about a missed shot, sometimes it makes people mean in regards to the people they are playing, snide little comments said behind their backs. We all know how women can be and for some reason tennis seems to bring out the pettiness in some. So perhaps, being left behind is the wrong word, maybe I don’t feel like I fit in because I don’t want to operate at that level and when you see that life is so much more and that people can get really hurt by unkind behaviors, you hopefully learn to live a different way.
Indian Wells 2010 w/ Sue Oldroyd, Cokie Price, Joanie and Donna Pizza- nice tennis friends!
Joanie,
Sorry I haven’t been much of a friend lately, but I haven’t forgotten you. Deb has had some tough days. We were in the ER at Utah Valley Hospital every week for 3 straight weeks. She thought it was “panand attacks” but it turned out that she was experiencing withdrawal symptoms from the drugs she was taking. So, I had to put her back in “detox” at LDS. She seems to be doing better since she left – but we’ll see. She wants to get better so bad, but has zero patience, so is constantly looking for the quick fix – which typically means a pill. We did finally resolve the
Mayo Clinic debt – $12,000. I feel pretty good about that. Hopefully, we won’t run up another one trying to get Deb back on her feet.
Tennis is ok. We are 3 and 3 – just what I expected, but ther is potential there and the future looks pretty bright. We had the Keys to Sucess assembly today and Megan Mansell won the iPad and the opportunity to be on TV next week to win a new car. She is such a cutie.
I was reading your blog about the BRCa gene. You probably know that the gene was discovered by Myriad Genetics here in Salt Lake. The CEO of Myriad is my X brother-in-law (Pete Meldrum). Needles to say the company is doing well and all the stock I inherited is long gone. Crap! Oh, well.
I too enjoyed conference this weekend – the Priesthood session was very impressive. Anyway, enough rambling. Hope this next round of chemotherapy goes better for you and you can get that arm up there soon to snap that “kick serve” in. Just want you to know that I am always pulling for you. I’ve just had a few things to deal with for the past few weeks. Stay tough and take care,
Matt
Joanie: My thoughts and prayers are with you always! I talked to your sister Lynne tonight and she too knows what you are going through….You will be ok.. I send all of my love and positive thoughts to you.
I love you and hope that you feel my positive energy coming your way. I know Lynne said that you will be losing your hair…I’m so very sorry..wish I was closer & I would come over and give you a big hug! Maybe I will when i am in Salt Lake in May…i perhaps will bring you some chicken soup for your soul.
As for people that don’t understand what you are going through, I would just tell them to “put on their big girl panties!”
Love you honey…I know you will be fine.
Sweet dreams and know that many of us are behind you 100%
Shelley
PS…you are so very pretty…just like your big sister Lynne!
hire coach Hey I am so glad I found your website, excellent content here.
Joanie, First, I’m saddened by all the challenges that have hit the faculty at Skyline. Maybe it’s the water or the basement conttamination! I never felt as healthy at Skyline as I did at Granite, but of course I was younger. I know you will continue to improve because of your fighting spirit and attitude. I am proud to say I got to know such a incredible person in my life at Skyline!
Stay strong!! We love and think about you much!!
Georgia, Myrna, Rexene & Denise
Learning for Life