Saturday, December 13, 2014


Morning sky on Thursday, December 11.  Anxious about my MRI!

I woke up early this morning anxious to get my blogging done before my morning run.  So I sat and composed and got a good paragraph in and then my computer went blank!  And so, here I am later in the morning determined to write this blog before I get on with my day.  Big week for me as I had my 6 month MRI on Thursday.  I was feeling pretty confident that I was ok but then I would have a headache or my eyes would hurt and I would be sure that something was going on inside my head.  More than twice, I have been almost struck dumb by a diagnosis.  The only symptom I even could attribute to breast cancer was a bit of tiredness but then I also realize that could have just been my body being tired.  For the brain tumor, I did have a few extremely short episodes of dizziness, maybe a second or two and then they were gone.  That happened in September 2013 when I was standing in front of a group of students so I really didn’t think too much of that.  I also noticed that my eyes were red and dry (but I had Lasik surgery about 8 years before) so I thought that was part of it. Some other things I did notice, but was not too alarmed by, was that my urine was a bit darker and had a smell and finally, I felt apprehensive, like something was bugging me but I couldn’t put my finger on what it was.  None of those things worried me though.  I never imagined a brain tumor!  Then in January, 2014, after a day of headaches, the catscan showed a tumor the size of a golfball.  I thought there would have been more warning.

But I need to pause here and say how amazing the medical care I received was.  I am so grateful for these medical doctors, nurses and professionals that worked on me, cared for me and got me back to health,happiness and hope.  I can dream again!  My brain MRI looked just like it did in July.  No sign of disease which I am eternally grateful for.

I believe in miracles, I know that angels administer for our behalf and I feel a very strong sense of responsibility to live my life well.  I look at my sister, Lynne’s pic every day many times and I know that I must live well because she can’t. I miss her darling face and voice. Such a sweet sister who wanted to live more than anything! I love watching her grandchildren growing bigger but it hurts that she is not here, on the earth, to hold them.  She would have loved being a grandma so much and she would have been a fabulous one! She taught me so much about being brave and never complaining and looking forward with hope.

I woke up on Thursday, day of the scan and started practicing the piano and then noticed that there was the most beautiful sunrise.  I ran outside with only socks on, up the street to get a good picture over Mount Olympus.  I love the strength this mountain gives my soul!


As I sat in the doctor’s office waiting for the MRI results, I had such a calm feeling, totally at peace but also knowing that the scan was clean. I felt so confident that I didn’t even need the doctor to tell me, I already knew.  After the scan, I happily sent a text to all those who I wanted to immediately know. Then Joe and I drove up to Millcreek Canyon for a moment of beauty and a pic in that setting.  I am so grateful that I get to keep living and that I don’t have to worry about another procedure to fight cancer!IMG_4620



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