Quote of the Day: Champions in any field have made a habit of doing what others find boring or uncomfortable. Author Unknown
I’m really goal oriented and this illness has made me reflect on and consider the goals I made in January when life was carefree (?) and I thought I had control over my life. So here are some goals I had in mind for 2011: organize journals, practice piano 3x weekly, qualify for Boston marathon, read a lot of books, travel to Tahiti, Costa Rica Humanitarian Trip, Vermont- bike trip, exercise daily (running, biking, Stairmaster) + weight training, redo kitchen, connect w/ family members that I don’t see very often, and consistent cooking. They’ve changed a little.
Here’s my bucket list now: spend as much time w/ Maggie, Kate and family as possible, make sure that all the people in my life that I care about, know that I care about them, spend time each day w/ a thankful heart to my Heavenly Father for all that I have been given, be like Jesus, read and really study the scriptures, make time for things that bring me joy- walking outside in nature, listening to beautiful music- usually that means classical, stretching my brain by learning new piano pieces, reading great literature, take some time for meditation, exercise body- aerobic, stretching every day, eat nutritious foods, look at people w/out judgement, believe that everyone has something they can share.
This has been an interesting journey so far because it really has taught me that I want to spend my time doing the things that really make my life richer. Time definitely seems of the essence. Most of us spend some of our precious time engaged in activities that won’t benefit our lives and probably take away from it. I have never been able to understand why people care so much about the lives of movie stars or famous people but yet never really have found out anything about their own relatives or people who are important in their lives.
Nate said today (and I think this is true) that it must be hard to be waiting for chemo to start. He related it to waiting in line for the roller-coaster. And yes it’s true because there are so many what ifs (but it’s also true that once it starts, life will get increasingly more difficult). What if the medicine makes me so sick I can’t deal w/ it? What if I do all this chemo to my body and cancer is still alive? What if 4 months seems like years? What if I feel trapped inside my house? What if I have an allergic reaction to the medicine? I’ve always thought that I would have agreed to all that life has to give, now I have to prove it.