Quote of the Day: “You simply will not be the same person after consciously giving thanks each day for the abundance that exists in your life. And you will set in motion an ancient spiritual law the more you have and are grateful for, the more will be given you.” Sarah Ban Breathnach
Last Sunday, my granddaughter, Maggie, had her Primary program. We knew she would be singing a solo and we were proud of her and excited to support her. What happiness it is to see your entire family sitting on a bench, or on the one behind, all together to support this little 4 year old, who seems like she’s been part of my world forever. But if you’ve ever watched a group of children stand in front of you for about an hour, a lifetime to them, you know that anything can happen, sometimes delightful things that only happen in child populations. Well Maggie is certainly not the type of child who stands calmly with her arms by her side. As Mike commented, “it would be so boring to watch a program without a child like Maggie in it.” I think Nate and Mary would differ on that opinion. But Maggie was delightful. She stood to sing her solo and took a deep breath and sang with this beautiful, confident voice and then in the second line she said a wrong word and let out an “opps” and then went on. I am learning that a grandparent sees things much differently than a parent. I truly think that everything Maggie and Kate do is darling, really. And I would be amiss if I did not mention that Maggie gave me a “shout-out” from the pulpit. She told the audience that her Grandma Joanie was there too and…
But lest you think that all is perfect in Maggie’s world, and she does have the most wonderful parents and support system in grandparents, aunt and uncles, she has a tic. Now, I have never experienced this in a child, but as I watch this beautiful little girl every now and then curl up her hands and squint her eyes and almost appear as if she is entering a different realm, I am troubled for her. We don’t know how to help her. It’s not clear to us why it occurs, we have looked for patterns of perhaps stress or something in her diet but she clearly can not stop it from coming on nor can she control her actions when it hits her. Of course, we are praying that it will go away, that she will out grow this tic but until that happens she will have to live with it. Now, I know we are all given trials and hardships in our lives and it’s how we react and then how we act that determines our character. I hope and pray that Maggie’s experience will teach her to be understanding of other’s abilities and disabilities.
Which brings me to ponder something I heard on NPR’s Fresh Air broadcast about a book by Andrew Solomon called Far From the Tree. He asked this question of a parent with a Down Syndrome child: “Do you wish you’d never heard of Down syndrome? Do you wish you could make it go away? And his mother said, ‘You know for our son, David, I wish I could make it go away because for David, it’s a difficult way to be in the world. And I would do anything to make David’s life easier.’ She said, ‘But speaking for myself, while I would never have believed 30 years ago that I would get to such a point, speaking for myself it’s made me think so much more deeply and appreciate humanity so much more broadly and live so much more richly. That speaking for myself, I wouldn’t give it up for anything in the world.’
“And while she articulated that idea with particular eloquence I found it was not an infrequent refrain — that most parents had become very attached to their children. And at some level I kept thinking, ‘But surely you’d rather have children without Down syndrome?’ And then I thought people become attached to their children with whatever their flaws are. I’m attached to my children with whatever flaws they have and if some glorious angel broke through the living room ceiling and offered to exchange them for other better children, I’d cling to my kids and pray away this specter.”
I love that attitude and think if all points back to being grateful for what we have because you know some people spend all their days wishing something had never happened or wishing that something different would happen. And with that we get no where. And so I’m grateful for those people who dig deep and become the greatest examples to us all of making the most of what they’ve been given because that makes us all stronger and in many ways gives us the courage to keep going. And on that Sunday, I was eternally grateful for these darling children who told Maggie what a great job she did as she was leaving the church.
Oh beautiful girls, Maggie, the Muskateer, and Kate, the Cowgirl on Halloween!
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