Wednesday, October 26

Quote of the Day: “We cannot live only for ourselves.  A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men.”   Herman Melville

Jen and I did a long walk around our neighborhood.  It was a Winnie-the-Pooh day -blustering and windy where it feels like something is coming, anticipation for an up-coming storm.  I can relate to the earth while it’s in this transition period- it’s not summer anymore and it’s certainly not winter and it takes some adjusting.  I’m definitely in a transition period.  I am not receiving any treatments now, recovering from a hysterectomy, another week and I’ll be able to start running and tennis, and trying to get somewhat back to the way life used to feel.  I know I’ll never be back to the way I was, I certainly won’t take some things for granted and that’s good but I would like to leave the fear part behind.  I’m just so very grateful to be feeling healthy and positive. 

So, this is my 3rd day without sweets, Alex has joined me in this quest- he thought it sounded like a good contest.  Jen made a funny comment today about this “no-sugar” idea.  She said that my timing was a bit crazy with all the holidays coming up and really the best time of year for sweets and I have thought of that but I’m hoping to emerge 5 lbs. down instead of 5 lbs. up come January 1, 2012, and that would be worth it to me.  We’ll see- there’s enough rich foods during the holidays to keep the pounds on!  I really am not giving up sugar entirely since there is sugar in yogart and other foods but I am giving up cookies, cakes and other desserts.  I really do feel better when I skip those things in my diet.  

I am grateful for the tender mercies in my life that have come in so many forms.  I always feel a tinge of magic when I see a dragonfly because of Jami’s faith.  I don’t really know how long a dragonfly lasts before the cold hits, but my last spotting was Friday, October 21st when I got into my car at Fashion Place Mall.  It was flying around and I felt like it was looking for me.  I wanted to say “Here I am, Dragonfly”.  It gives me hope every time I see one.  The other tender mercies come through the kindnesses of others.  My Aunt Barbara sent me a card with a dragonfly on the front.   She wrote such kind words that included “…So glad you took the right path” and those words really touched me.   I think she must have meant the path to persevere in the midst of sadness and adversity.  I also have been so touched by the stories about breast cancer on T.V. this month.  Today, there was a young mother of 2 sons who discovered cancer at age 39.  She had a lot of difficulty with her insurance company paying the medical bills and wanted to help others so they didn’t have to go through a similar situation.  And what if this disease teaches you to do that?  Making life easier for others- what a positive benefit.  The greatest people in the world turn adversity around and make a difference for someone else. This mother was so touched by people receiving chemo and radiation that were so ill and so burdened with life’s other problems.  

I could totally relate.  I saw a lot of that suffering when ever I entered the Cancer Center at IMC.  As bad as I felt about getting chemo, there were many others who were experiencing a greater degree of suffering and heartache.   I am so grateful that my children were older and independent when cancer struck.  That would have been the hardest thing for me to deal with- worrying about their welfare.  Also, another tender mercy- our insurance company has been amazing- everything covered so far!

Last night, I got to accompany the Skyline students while they served dinner to the homeless population in Salt Lake.  I really miss my association with them.