Quote of the Day: “Why not learn to enjoy the little things, there are so many of them.” Author Unknown
Exercise Log: Joe and I drove into Holladay to walk on more level ground. It was a beautiful, cool morning. I loved being in a different neighborhood, a change of gardens and flowers plus it was my old stomping ground. Went by Mindy Adams and Kathy Callaghan’s houses- best friends in junior high. Nice to remember how carefree the past was, in some ways!
On NPR today, Christopher Mcdougall the author of Born to Run was on the program. It was interesting to hear him talk about running. He said that we have made running such a chore, very painful. Everyone thinks of injuries when they think of running but really running is what we did when we were little and it made our bodies feel invigorated and healthy. Running meant play and fun. He talked a lot about how our running form has changed due to the running shoes we put on our feet. Barefoot running can teach your body how to really run thus preventing injury. He emphasized how much we need to work on technique so that we can run our entire lives without injury. He also talked about how we, as humans, are very motivated by fear and how marketers use fear to get us to buy products.
I’ve been thinking a lot about fear lately because it has become such a big part of my existence and I don’t want it to be there, in the front of my mind. Of course, there’s this big fear of suffering, being incapacitated in some way, not existing anymore, they go on and on. So when I talk to the doctor and we talk about the future there is this sick feeling of fear, this what if ? It’s exhausting to try to predict the future but I’m the type of person who wants to feel like they have some control over their life and this year’s experience has felt like the rug has been pulled out from under me. Every time they run a test and I have to await a result I ruminate the possible worst case scenario and then run it through my mind a million times. And, really, I’m not a big worrier, or wasn’t a big worrier but I’m a bit shell-shocked from all that I have been through this year. But I’m learning that you have to let these things go because no amount of worrying is going to change a test result, it just won’t.
I did meet with the surgeon today and she said I was healing way ahead of schedule so I left her office feeling very much like I had received an A+ in surgery. Dr. Erika Lloyd has really been one of the best parts of this experience. She has shown real compassion when she has dealt with both my and Joe’s feelings. I feel very confident about all the surgery she has done, and I so appreciate how pro-active and serious she is about this BRCA 1 gene.
Tonight I start my fast in behalf of my sister, Lynne, who will undergo surgery tomorrow where they will put a pin in her leg to strengthen the bone. We are fasting as a family and will all offer prayers for a speedy recovery. We love you Lynne!
Lynne in Tahiti- January 2011
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