Monday, August 1

Quote of the Day:  “Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.”   Marcel Proust

Exercise Log:  Big group today:  Jen, Patti, Linda, Lori, Sue O., Denise and myself.  We walked around the cove going 3.91 miles.  Patti and Linda looked very tan and feeling renewed from their time in the Tetons.  It’s pretty amazing how the Tetons affects all of us that same way.  It’s this great getaway from e-mails, phone calls and busy life as we know it back home.  I always struggle to keep that inner peace when I come home but can never do it for long.  Patti brought me back dragon-fly earrings that I will be wearing a lot and I got this cute card wishing me well from “Eagle Love” and some delicious oatmeal chocolate-chip cookies.  Eagle Love, I think is from the student-body officers at Skyline.  The twin girls running the show next year are Emma and Eliza Jackson- darling, hard-working and caring!

So I have this struggle going on inside me between feeling very hopeful that I will be completely healed vs. doubt that I will be one where the cancer lingers and comes back.  There is this fear that you experience when you have a cancer diagnosis that only those who have their life in peril understand.  It brings such inner terror to your soul, the thought that you would have to take that on.  One thing this experience has taught me is that you just don’t know what the future will bring and you have to stop trying to predict the future.  But, really, I feel confident most of the time that I will get better.  So, you know my experiences with dragon-flies that, by the way, I am touched by in some way or another every day.  Today, Alex and Maggie were jumping on the trampoline so I walked outside to the edge of the deck to watch and a dragon-fly landed on my arm, I kid you not.  My first reaction would be to swat an insect away that landed on me but I was so mesmerized by this experience that I stayed perfectly still.  I said “Alex look up here” and we both watched as the dragon-fly stayed right there.  It moved it’s arms a little but stayed there for about a minute.  It had a shimmery green body and white transparent wings, perhaps the Green Darner Dragonfly.  FYI: Dragon flies have been around for 300 million years.  Alex was about to grab the camera but was too late.  It was like a message had been sent- I had been touched by hope that this year of suffering would get behind me and brighter times were coming.  

I know I have said his before, It hasn’t been all bad, the growth that has occurred in me would never have been possible if life had just gone on its merry way! 

Mom (Janet), Lynne, Joanie, and Erin



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2 Responses to Monday, August 1

  1. mikelle August 2, 2011 at 5:04 pm #

    flying into SLC on 08/23. hope to see you.

  2. jami August 2, 2011 at 9:21 pm #

    Wow, you have me crying. It was like I was reliving my own dragonfly experience. Yes, the terror of not knowing if the cancer will linger and rear its ugly head again and then the answer comes and peace with it. I do believe it was your sign.

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