Quote of the Day: Each of us makes his own weather, determines the color of the skies in the emotional universe which he inhabits. Fulton J. Sheen
Exercise Log: Yesterday I didn’t get any miles in and today we flew into San Antonio. We plan to walk on the Riverwalk later so I can log some miles, so my total is -11.64. I plan to walk in the morning and at night. The Riverwalk is really busy with a lot of people though, so I hope morning is less crowded and less hot so I can make time.
Yesterday was one of my hardest days yet. I think the accumulation of the nausea, tiredness, metal taste in my mouth that makes all food so undesirable and unsatisfying, and now the areas around my fingers are really sore so I have a finger and a thumb that are with bandaids. Probably just the beginning of rawness around the hands. Sorry to keep complaining but this is no walk in the park! All of it just takes its toll and just adds to my discouragement. I keep asking myself- will I ever feel good again? Will I ever get to run along a path and let me body breath in the fresh air and feel confident about the future? Will food ever taste good again? Will I ever get to put my head on the pillow, sleep and wake up refreshed, revived and happy? So in all my ickiness feeling yesterday, I didn’t even have the energy to go to church and enjoy the Mother’s Day program that we had planned in Relief Society. Luckily, I have all these people who are there to make up for my shortcomings. Thanks Kathleen, Gloria and Julie.
Katie Jensen came over with this darling hat yesterday and it so helped me transition into hat without beanie underneath, today. When we got to San Antonio, it was about 97 degrees and humid. I wear a beanie under another hat, but it was just too hot -I couldn’t get the beanie off soon enough. I think I mentioned that I am becoming much more comfortable with my bald head and I may even forget and answer the door that way. I don’t like being in the position every day where people look at me and wonder what my story is. They’re not being rude. It’s just unusual to see someone without hair- I would look also. They just want to know in hopes of it never happening to them and I hope it doesn’t. I have no desire of being in the public eye. I just want anonymomity!
San Antonio is a happening place but there are so many people asking for money. It really makes me sad to see them struggling with their lives. They have health but aren’t able to make life work for them. I have time right now but no health. I’m so grateful for all the support that I have because that’s really what they’re missing. That and maybe some bad life choices!
Riverwalk in San Antonio
Mike and Joe on Riverwalk
Joanie:
Just wanted to say hello….and remember all this will pass, and step by step you will regain your strength again…I know what that awful metallic taste is like in your mouth…I experienced that too….I love cold water & I couldn’t drink it…had to put crystal light in it…but, now again, it tastes great to me….the same with food as well. Those chemicals that they pump into us can play funny tricks on our bodies, but remember that they’re getting rid of those pesky cells….
I’m excited, I get to see your sweet sister Lynne tonight…we will drive to Idaho Falls to pick her up…she gets in late 11:30…hopefully I can stay awake!
I know how hard this is to go through….give yourself time to rest and heal…listen to your body. I too (think I’ve told you this before) am stubborn, and at times pushed myself too hard, just to prove that I could still do the things that I did before I started my treatments.
Long distance hugs,
Shelley