Monday, September 26

Quote of the Day:  “Whatever course you have chosen for yourself, it will not be a chore but an adventure if you bring to it a sense of the glory of striving, if your sights are set far above the  merely secure and mediocre.”  David Sarnoff

Yesterday, Mary’s mom, Rosemary came to visit Carol Skeen’s class at church.  I looked at Rosemary’s scriptures as she thumbed through them and it was obvious that they were well worn from much usage and that she knew them well.  She found one that she wanted to share with a young girl in the class.  It’s in Alma 36:3 and it’s advice from Alma to his son Helaman:  “…I beseech of thee that thou wilt hear my words and learn of me; for I do know that whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions, and shall be lifted up at the last day.”  What an amazing promise.  This scripture gives me so much hope that God understands all that we are going through which is pretty incredible to wrap our minds around since there are so many people in this world.  Sometimes it might feel like we are just one person in this sea of people but I know God is watching over us and cares deeply about each of us.  

Does that mean that my cancer will come back, ever? I’m not sure, but I know it does mean that I am not facing it alone.  Moreover, there are angels here on earth that have my back and I will always be indebted to them for that and that’s ok because that means that I must simply pay it forward, I can make up some of my debt by helping others.  I’ve said this before in my blog, but I’ll get the occasional inquiry about where I stand in regards to cancer now and I always find it hard to respond.  Maybe it’s because it would take a long time to explain, or maybe I don’t want to explain it to someone who really doesn’t care, or maybe I’m not sure they would understand the explanation.  But, I do know that I have to live each day with a grateful heart and with hope and faith that I will be healed.    

I have been following Maggie’s lead in trying to be brave.  When she was younger, Halloween was a scary time with all the masks, scary costumes and decorations.  I grabbed some Halloween books to read to her the other day and I could tell she was a little apprehensive so we talked about it and she said:  “I’m trying to be really brave.”  So my hair is still pretty short but I also have been “trying to be really brave” and going without a hat.  So pretty much any event that I had last week, I went hatless.  I don’t like that you feel self-conscious but I do like that that feeling fades the more you force yourself to be uncomfortable.  I am also very thankful for the people who acknowledge that I am out there with my short, short, red hair.  Even if it’s not attractive, they lie and say it looks really good and I love them for that!

Last day at radiation (September 22, exactly 6 months after starting chemo) w/ nurse Tarali (one of Liz Wixom’s best friends!, small world!)