Saturday, July 2

Happy Birthday, Taylor  # 20!

Quote of the Day:  “One may go a long way after one is tired.”   French Proverb

Exercise Log:  This morning, Jen, Sue O. and I drove up to Big Water, which is the highest point you can drive to in Millcreek Canyon.  We got up there around 6:30 A.M. and it was about 46 degrees.  We were all in short with jackets, no gloves.  It was a beautiful morning and a parking lot about 1/4 filled with cars.  I love the mornings.  The light coming over the mountains and shining through the quakies is worth all the sleep missed.  I have never regretted pulling myself from my warm bed to face the exercising.  Always, I am rewarded and grateful!  We went 5.42 miles- to Dog Lake and back.  We passed over quite a few snow fields and some muddy spots, saw some mountain bikers who I could only imagine would be quite frustrated with the conditions.

Sue brought her camera and at one point I had her take a picture of me with  my bald head.  I guess I will want to look back on this time and remember that I was bald while bringing with it all the memories of what that meant.  Walking around bald, except at home, feels almost like you are nude.  It’s like this part of you that has been covered up your entire life, at least the parts of my life that I can remember, and that to expose that is exposing way too much of yourself.  But, I have found that with this hair-loss experience, that you really can do things you didn’t think you could do.  At first, I felt funny or strange wearing a cap, then a hat without a cap underneath, then I got use to wearing a scarf and now I even will walk outside for a few minutes without any covering on at all.  I don’t like people looking at me wondering what my story is.  But, then I think of Susie Eichers and she wore her bald head proudly and I’m impressed by that.  Anyway, Sue took a picture of me and I think I will post it.  It feels cathartic.  I like this word because it so describes what “coming out” with my baldness means.  Definitions-  ca·thar·sis  (k-thärss) : (1) A purifying or figurative cleansing of the emotions, especially pity and fear, …(2) A release of emotional tension, as after an overwhelming experience, that restores or refreshes the spirit.  (3) Psychology :   A technique used to relieve tension and anxiety by bringing repressed feelings and fears to consciousness.

Ever since I was diagnosed with breast cancer, everyone, every article, every billboard, you name it is about cancer or death.  One thing a diagnosis brings to the forefront of your mind is your mortality.  It’s so interesting to me that we all think we have some great control over when we will pass to the next world, but we do.  I think it’s one of those human illusions that we hold onto because it keeps us sane.  It’s only when something happens, that we feel threatened and start to wonder.   Sometimes, I think we even believe that a tragedy wouldn’t happen to us because we have so much going on in our lives or that someone couldn’t exist without us but look at all the stories on TV.  Every day, there are people, who suffer lose when they have no business suffering loss.  Of course, there are lots of situations we have control over, for example, not putting ourselves in dangerous situations, taking care of our health, being proactive about servicing our cars and homes and more, but I guess I just want to say that really all we have is the present and so we better live each day to the fullest.

Ok, this is taking all my guts to post this picture so if I can do this, I’m challenging you to go do something difficult like telling someone you are sorry or admitting a wrong or maybe that you love someone!

Picture of Taylor in Guatemala- rainy season