Saturday, March 5

Quote of the Day:  “You can come out of the furnace of trouble two ways; if you let it consume you, you come out a cinder; but there is a kind of metal which refuses to be consumed, and comes out a star.”  Jean Church

This quote is the encouragement I need.  I was at Dan’s today (our local food store) and I always see a lot of people I know there.  I was thinking about when I will have lost my hair, perhaps I’ll be wearing a scarf or maybe one of my wigs and how hard it will be to have people looking at me and perhaps wondering how I’m handling things.   I don’t blame the looker, it’s not that we’re trying to be rude when we look, it’s more that we’re trying to understand the reason.   Today at the drive-in window, the teller had a scarf tied creatively around her head.  I kept looking at it to see how she had done it but I was in the passenger side of the car and so couldn’t ask.  I’m quite certain she too had cancer and I could see on her face that she had been stared at a lot.  So back to the quote,  you can let these thoughts over take and consume you or you can be brave, realize that most people want to be kind, and hold your head up high.  That will take some work.  I thought, maybe I’ll let Joe do all the shopping but isn’t that about caving in to all the wrong emotions?

Joe and I went skiing at Deer Valley today.  It was beautiful and 41 degrees warm.  I would rather spend the day outside, than anywhere else.  I remember once on a backpacking trip through Coyote Gulch, as the day was coming to an end, we went around the circle and everyone said what they were thankful for.  One girl said that she was thankful she could spend the entire day and night outside.  I loved that and felt the same way.   Skiing is Joe’s favorite sport and has really become our family’s favorite sport to do together.  With Taylor in Guatemala,  Michael engaged and wanting to spend every moment w/ Elle, Alex in Copenhagen and Nate- Mr. Mom, it is back to our dating and early marriage days of just the two of us skiing together.  You know how I’m a social runner, also a social skier.  I missed having my boys, Mary or girlfriends with us.

Melissa’s book on Loss is amazing.  I thought about some of the concepts I read last night and while skiing it occurred to me that yes there are a lot of things you lose when you have a crisis, but there are a lot of things you gain.  I have gained this great appreciation for life- every minute counts so make the most of it but not in busy ways- in relationship ways.  I have learned that what I’d really like to do is to look people in the eye and really listen to them. I have learned how much caring people reach out to you in times of crisis.  I have learned that you can have things crumble around you but the human soul wants to grab on to something of HOPE.  The human spirit is undaunted.  We see examples of people every day who battle on in pain or look fear in the face and keep going.

Skyline Staff sent over this beautiful floral arrangement so artistically designed.  I think I shall just look at it and let it reach deep inside my soul.  Thanks also to my sister-in-law Mauritia (and Tom) who brought by kind card and theatre tickets!

On a Skyline note, we stopped by the Nike Outlet on our way home and I saw one of my students.  I love Danielle and gave her a big huge.  She said “Are you sure you’re ok?” and yes I am.  But here is the part that made my heart skip a beat.  I asked her how it was working w/ Mary (cute, permanent sub of 24 years) and she said that things were going great.  Mary had said to the classes something in the neighborhood of her not going to be a “stickler” about things so…  Alright, I admit I had to calm myself down and realize that I am not in control anymore but I am worried.  You never say to high school students that you are not going to be a “stickler” about anything.

Went to Settabello’s w/ Elle’s parents and Mike and Elle.  Very fun.   So happy for Mike that he gets to be part of this amazing family.  When we came home, the darling Jackson family had left the makings for a delicious spaghetti dinner w/ flowers.  This is a family I so admire for their caring spirits.  They are the hardest workers and it shows in their abundant talents. I was fortunate to get to know them through Skyline Women’s Tennis and Community of Caring.  Can’t wait to eat!

Mike and Elle hiking in Grand Teton National Park