Quote of the Day: “I have always admired the ability to bite off more than one can chew and the chew it. William DeMille
A friend at church today asked me how I was doing. She wanted to know the “real” story. She said that she had heard from someone else about the cancer and I could tell that this person had made it sound really bad so she wanted to hear it from me. I appreciated it. It’s difficult to be the one talked about- we have all been there but it’s a good lesson to make sure that you get the true story and don’t be parley to spreading untruths. I get this impression when I am about to talk about someone and it’s the Holy Ghost saying “Don’t do it”. I usually heed the promptings but when I don’t I know that voice grows dimmer. If I continue not to listen, I know it will go away all together.
Listening is a skill. I feel like I have taken a crash course in listening these past weeks. I read somewhere that you should take notes when you visit the doctor and write down all you can because they tell you so much and you won’t be able to remember when you get home. Good advice. I’ve had pretty remarkable medical care starting w/the surgeon, Erica Lloyd who got us right in and took 2 hours explaining about the cancer, what will happen in surgery, what the chances are for survival, and definitely the side effects of the surgery. She asked about family history, and asked about my sister, Lynne’s, cancer. She was very helpful and empathetic and even gave me her cell # with an invitation to call her when I had other questions. I’ll tell you what, you really listen to every word, on the edge of your chair leaning close to watch facial expressions and hidden nuances when someone is talking about your life expectancy. Next, the plastic surgeon spent 2 hours explaining all the procedures. He made sure I knew every option which made it all that much easier to make an informed decision. He asked me what kind of support system I had- I was happy to say “the best!” Next the oncologist, Bill Nibley, spent hours with us going over the pathology report, side effects of chemo, survival statistics and more. Listening on this level, one becomes exhausted from taking in all this life-changing, heart-stopping information.
But here’s the thing, no one ever asked or addressed how I was doing emotionally. Maybe they would have referred me to someone if I had asked for it or seemed like I needed it but that’s such a major part of this disease. It’s definitely got to be part of the healing process.
We need to be better listeners to our loved ones and friends. This happened a lot at school. I would go through and explain every detail of an assignment and immediately a student would raise their hand and ask you the very question you just addressed. We live in such a fast-paced world, things coming at us from every direction, we forget to be present and listen to someone as they pour out their hearts to us.
Thank you President Jensen for taking the time to make a phone call. You have done so much for the Dailys! I know we can’t repay you- just a thank you!
Colter Bay Marina- Jackson Lake- Grand Teton National Park
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