Joe and I in Kauai- overlooking the Menehune Ponds
I came back from a wonderful vacation- ten days in Hawaii- Kauai and Ohua, to face an MRI the following morning. I woke up Friday morning and headed to the hospital to have the procedure done. I felt good about it coming back clear but I must admit that I have been a bit uneasy lately. No headaches- just the regular tired you feel on a vacation. In Kauai, we spent one punishing day on a Zodiac raft seeing some incredible sites on the Na Pali coast. The wind was strong and the waves seemed large as we pounded for 6 hours up and down, over and over and then smashing down hard. The next day, my entire body was sore but we just went about our vacation as usual. By the next morning, the soreness was gone. But back to the MRI. So one of the things that they’ve made nice about the MRI is that I see the radiologist right after the procedure and he tells us the test results. No long time waiting and worrying and having to call for results. We saw Dr. Hunter and he put it quite simply- there are two spots- tumors on the MRI in my brain. One is about 1 centimeter and the other is very small. It definitely is not the news that we wanted to hear. It is such a huge setback. Now, having said that, I am so grateful that I have options. They are to have surgery or to do the Gamma Knife treatment and hope that the tumors get radiated from it and die. Fighting cancer is one dark, tremendous battle. It involves so much physical, spiritual and emotional strength. There are many more questions I need to ask but we are scheduled to do the Gamma Knife with hope that no other tumors ever show up. I asked Dr. Hunter that when you see more tumors, does that mean that even more are likely to show up and probability wise, he said yes. I am at peace because I know that I have done everything I can to rid my body of cancer. I have such an aggressive form that it just keeps finding a way to surface. But mostly, I am at peace, because the Holy Ghost is a constant comforter to me and is always there. I don’t know how this is possible but I am smiling and determined to be happy. Physically, I feel really good so that is positive. Dr. Hunter said that I am young and healthy and so Gamma Knife is a good option for me. Also, I have spent almost 5 years worrying myself almost crazy about this disease and frankly it’s getting old. I would like to think of other, more positive and lovely things.
Sunset in Ko Oline, Ohua