Sunday, September 11, 2011

Quote of the Day:  Ecclesiastes 3:1-21   To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; …and a time to heal; a time to break down and a time to build up:  a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; …

On Friday, September 9, my sister, Lynne, passed away at home surrounded by her immediate family.  I was so grateful that my Mom was there also, who was touched by the sweetness of Lynne’s oldest son, Matt, who didn’t leave her bedside.  I got up Friday morning to run with friends.  We ran along Wasatch Blvd. and I could tell that I had nothing in my tank.  I was exhausted- worried about Lynne and family, radiation, life, you name it, it had all taken its toll.  Sue B. noticed the red sky behind us and so we took a minute to turn around, stop and really take into our souls the beauty of the morning.  I’m so glad that we did because I kept thinking about the sky the entire day in relation to my thoughts about Lynne.  Nature speaks to my soul and I find its message strengthening.  I was relieved that Lynne was not suffering anymore but I miss her terribly and I ache for her family.  A flood of memories overtook me and regrets that I had not asked her about certain things and been more helpful and understanding to her as she battled cancer.

And battle cancer she did.  She’s a fighter and one of the bravest people I’ve ever known.  7 years ago this month, she was diagnosed with breast cancer.  She went through all the treatments, chemo, radiation, pills and then while golfing one day she noticed an acute pain in her sternum.  That was 4 years after her first diagnosis.  She then went through chemo again and looked for every treatment she could find.  She modified her diet, drank many, many “green” smoothies and tried many other treatments in hopes of a cure.  She did all she could to combat this horrible disease but it traveled to her bones and liver.  If you are new to my blog, you don’t know that Lynne did not have the BRCA 1 gene.  In that lies so much irony.  She should never have had cancer.  Her cancer should never have come back.  She was only 47 when she was first diagnosed and her life ended at 54.

Today we had a lesson on the “Postmortal  Spirit World” in church and we talked about the nature of the spirit when we pass from this life to the next.  I believe that we will have our bodies again but they will be in perfect form.  I’m glad for that because I really like my original body!  But here’s what President Ezra Taft Benson said that I find very comforting: “Sometimes the veil between this life and the life beyond becomes very thin. Our loved ones who have passed on are not far from us”.  After I knew Lynne was gone, I really desired to know that all was ok with her, that she was in a better place and she had found comfort (and her grandchildren) and I found so much peace in kneeling in prayer.  This amazing spirit of confirmation came over me and I knew she was happy.  The veil is very thin.  

On Friday, Joe knew I didn’t want to be alone so he joined me at radiation and then we met Nate and the girls at Liberty Park for a picnic after their Aviary visit.  Dragon-flies were all around us as we sat on the bench and watched the little girls run around- Maggie dancing around the trees and dreaming and Kate babbling the cutest sounds as she perfected her walking skills. The dragon flies swarmed in and out, up and around and the sun came in over the trees and pond bringing hope.

It’s really a blessing to grow up with someone because you remember the faces they would make when they were small.  I have this picture in my mind of Lynne when she was a little girl.  She had this beautiful strawberry blond hair and her head is turned to one side and she is happily grinning and playing outside.  That’s how I want to remember her!

Young Sisters 1964:  Left to right, back row then front:  Lynne, Shelly, Heidi, Erin, Joanie