Thursday, April 14

Quote of the Day:  When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.  Ralph Waldo Emerson

From Waking the Warrior Goddess:  Take care of your needs.  “There might be a few things a hot bath won’t cure, but I don’t know many of them”.  Sylvia Plath

Every emotion you feel creates a biochemical reaction in your body that affects your health.  Negative emotions take a toll on your health, while positive emotions such as laughing stimulate your immune system and help to keep you healthy.   Also from Waking the Warrior Goddess

Exercise log:  Sue Buehner and I walked for 5.66 miles (surplus .81 miles) around Mount Olympus area.  When we first started out, there was this beautiful light over part of the Oquirrh Mountains, the rest of the range was surrounded by storm and it reminded us of HOPE-  even though there is this storm around us, there is a light in the distance.  We experienced hail, blinding snow in our faces and then, no snow.  I guess that is Spring trying to make the break from Winter!

So next week is a big week coming up for me, I will get a port placement on Monday and should find out about the genetic testing for the BRCA gene also this week.  If I test positive, it most likely is coming through my Dad’s side but it would open up a whole lot of other questions about who else my have the gene or be a carrier of it.  A positive would also mean a lot of surgery in my future, which is daunting!

I just finished a recorded book by Jeannette Walls and on the CD there is an interview with her about her writing and her views on life.  She wrote an autobiographical novel about her childhood called The Glass Castle. She had an extremely rough childhood and despite that came out of it as a resilient, successful and wise person.   She was at the Esmeralda in Indian Wells when were there in March.  I would have loved to have heard her speak or bump into her in the elevator.  Here’s what she said that I found very profound:  “Everything in life is a lesson.  Everything that happens bad to us is also a blessing and wrapped in every bad experience is a gift if we’re willing to receive that gift.  Sometimes you have to dig through some muck to find that gift but it is there.”

I love when someone lives their life with such a positive spin on bad experiences.  I do think that if you look at life as teaching moments that make us better people , we can be positive during negative phases of life and be able to bounce back when a hurdle is placed in our way.  If we can see “the gift” and understand in ourselves the lessons that we gain from these hard times, we can also teach others, and be able to give back and share what we have learned.  All of us are here to be tested- some of us just fight the test more than others.

One thing I have learned from this diagnosis is that even though we have lived all these years, for me 52, thinking I had so much control over my life or thinking that I knew what God had planned for me, there are just things we don’t have control over so instead of being angry or butting our heads against the wall, we just need to accept that this is our life, do the best with what we are given, prepare our best for the future, but still carry those dreams with us.   The saddest individuals are those who no longer dream.