Thursday, December 31, 2015

IMG_3042_2I think it’s time that I start writing my blog consistently again.  I’m glad that I had the spinal surgery- my arm is starting to be less tender and although two fingers are still numb, I am hopeful that they are healing and it will be just a little time until they are completely normal.  I hope for that so that I can enjoy using the computer and play the piano again. I was hopeful that I would start to get some energy back after surgery but that hasn’t happened either.  Also, my head hurts in places and even though I could treat that with ibuprofen, I still knew that something was not right.  I wondered as I got ready for my quarterly MRI how someone could feel this crappy and not have something else wrong.  Yesterday, Joe and I waited in the doctor’s office for 45 minutes before he came in with the bad news.  We both knew this was a bad sign.  I figured he must be consulting with other doctors about the MRI and sure enough he was.  I have to say that I love Dr. Hunter.  He is so kind and compassionate and spent so much time with us so that he could explain every option and leave us with some hope.

I have 5 tumors, 3 of which can be treated with Gamma Knife where I have had amazing success.  The other two with less radiation because they are so close to my ears that they could cause hearing loss if we went with Gamma Knife.  But that’s not all.  They also found possibly evidence that cancer is in the lining of the brain and that is scary because if that’s the case then they estimate that you have about 6 months to live.  We called our children and spouses and cried as we gave them the news.  They are the most amazing people and I am so honored to call them my children and family.  We agreed that we would deal with this by living life to the fullest! Nate and Mary explained to Maggie what was going on and she kept hugging and looking at me last night.  I’m so vested in taking care of my kids that I don’t want to leave this life.  I do believe in an incredible after-life so that is very comforting.  I am so grateful for the gospel plan- that we can be together again.  That is what keeps me going!

Maggie winning Reflections Contest this year!

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