Met w/ surgeon, Erica Lloyd at St. Mark’s and she was so helpful in explaining about the cancer and what each classification meant etc. We were there for two hours and felt grateful that she took the time to answer all our questions. She counseled us on the three surgery choices which are (1) lumpectomy (2) remove one breast including all tissue or (3) full mastectomy w/ reconstructive surgery. All surgeries have the same success rate. A lumpectomy would be much easier to recover from but then there is the chance that the other breast may get cancer in it sometime and I would have to go through this process again. If I was going to remove one breast fully, why not do both breasts so that I don’t have to worry about a cancer reoccuring. I asked her what she would do and she said that she would have the full mastectomy because she was a worrier and would be afraid that the cancer would come back. It’s a difficult decision and one I will have to prayerfully consider. I tend to make decisions quickly but this one is so important that I want to make the right decision for me.
I am planning to tell Taylor about the cancer sometime this next week. He is doing so great in his mission that I hate to rock his boat but I know that he would want to know and to be praying for us. He is my inspiration. I love him so much and can’t wait to see him again!
I am encouraged by how comforted I feel at times and how times of despair creep in but mostly I feel confident and sure that all the experiences I have had in my life have prepared me for this time. I am definitely living much closer to the spirit and feel carried by the thoughts and prayers of others. It was so hard to say that I have breast cancer yesterday, and today I am able to with more ease. When I first realized it was a possibility I was ashamed that my body could carry cancer and now I understand that there are many things outside of my control. The one thing I can control is my attitude.
I worry about my students and am sad that I will be in school intermittendly during now until the end of the school year. I really want to build the service learning program at Skyline and I love teaching and rubbing shoulders with such amazing students. The directors and their committee did such an amazing job with the Head, Heart and Hands assembly. They are so darling to me and I feel so badly that I wasn’t much help!
Linda Dunn came over w/ soup and flowers. She had called earlier that day to say that she was thinking about me. Linda never ceases to amaze me in how she knows what would make someone feel better. I was lifted by her kindness and felt so grateful to have such kind people in my camp!
I saw Cindy Jackson (neighbor and friend) at the assembly this morning and she gave me the biggest hug. She has done a lot of work w/ Race for the Cure and has a lot of friends who have gone through this. She has sent me many e-mails w/ recommendations of doctors and support groups. Once again, so many angels in my midst. I have so much to be thankful for.