Thursday, March 3

Quote of the day:  “If we did the things we were capable of, we would astound ourselves.”    Thomas Edison

Martin Sheen doesn’t know what he’s talking about.  I heard him make this comment last night about his son, Charlie, who I have zero respect for- he is so cocky and has no respect for life or his children.  He said that an addiction is just the same as having cancer.    Last time I checked,  a person made some choices to get where they are w/ addictions.  I didn’t get to decide about cancer coming into my body.  I can eat healthy, exercise and stay away from harmful chemicals but I don’t get to decide if cancer cells start to mutate in my body.  What an insult to any one w/ cancer or another disease!

Here’s another thing that Julie O’Leary helped me understand yesterday.  She said that as you serve in a calling when you’re ill, that you may have to serve in different ways.  I have always been able to use my physical body for accomplishing tasks.  I love exercise and feeling strong physically.  She said that maybe you would have to use your voice to make calls or to direct others.  I thought a lot about this because there are several women in my ward who are not able to get around very well or who experience much physical pain.  They have been given callings that allow them to serve without the use of a physical body.   And here’s the most important part for Mormon women especially who think they have to do everything, every minute, every time- you do what you can do with what you have an your offering will be accepted!  Heavenly Father knows us and what we are capable of and will direct us to help others.

I had the drain removed by the surgeon.  She asked me why I didn’t do the Petscan and I tried to explain why but I found myself doubting my own judgment.  She wasn’t questioning my decision- it was all coming from me.  I have this need to please people and through this process I am learning that I really need to be confident in my own decisions.  I know what I’m capable of. We are out of whack in our thinking when we put so much pressure on doctors to be “perfect” or correct in every decision and they can’t be.  They can just give us the best medical care they know.

Thank you for the sweet cards from Susan Smith, Colleen Nelson, Tom and Jessie Price and warm, white hat from Becky Mathie to wear at night.  Melissa brought over a book called Grieving Mindfully. She explained it this way.  Some people think of grieving and loss as just dying but there is so much more grieving and loss that goes on when you have a physical or emotional problem.   We experience so many kinds of loss when events happen or our situations change.  The book is A Compassionate and Spiritual Guide to Coping w/ Loss and I am really looking forward to reading it.  She also let me know about Qigong- a relaxation method  to enhance immunity.  Recommended to cancer patients to reduce fatigue and other side effects of conventional cancer treatments.   Melissa amazes me.  She is this tiny, beautiful, compassionate person who not only has so many resources that she’s aware of but she is seeking out people to help.   Also, thanks to another Malissa for the check-up call and to DawnAnn for your helpful words today!

I meet my 4-Season’s friends for dinner.  Heidi, Becky, Candi and Kelleen- we meet each month to keep up-dated on each other.  This is the ultimate friend group because we celebrate the happy times like new babies coming into the world, engagements, job changes or promotions, mission calls etc. but we are there for the hard times too.  No life is easy, no life is untouched by sorrow or heartache but together we can share thoughts and strengthen each other.