Quote of the Day: “When the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filing the cracks with gold. They believe that when something’s suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful. Barbara Bloom
From Waking the Warrior Goddess: Take an herbal adaptogen every day to lower your body’s response to stress. More details later.
Josh and Anna- thank you for blessing me with your prayers! (And adding President Monson in on that!)
Exercise Log: Got up and walked w/ Kathy E., Sue B. and Sue O. We went 4.21 miles and then I did another 3.42 on stairmaster, making that 7.63 for today (I need to make up .74 miles). I also did P90X abdominals- felt good. I felt much better about life today when I woke up. I forgot that chemo makes you really tired. I think that was part of my “down” issue yesterday, also!
Today was my Get Out There and Dare to Face the World Day! Taylor said to me after I bought the wigs: “I thought of you more as a scarf person- this gave me reason to ponder what he meant and I think he was saying that a scarf covers up the bald hair but it’s still obvious that something out of the ordinary is going on in your life, but a wig feels more like you are trying to be normal when really the world is far from normal for you. I think that whatever you feel more comfortable wearing, great! So I wore the wig for a long time yesterday, and it just feels confining and while it’s not really tight on the head, your brain hurts with chemo and one more thing pressing in on it, can be too much. Today, I put on one of the scarves that I bought yesterday, tied it around my head and let it drape over my shoulder. I felt pretty chic! I thought I would wear it to a class at the hospital called Look Good, Feel Better but when I got there, I learned it had been cancelled. I was hoping to learn some good techniques for scarf and hat wearing.
I headed over to Costco- getting way out of my comfort zone- and went shopping by myself- without hair! And this is where kind people always seem to step in. Right then my dear friend, Becky Mathie, who is 5 years out from breast cancer- yay!!!, texted me and said: “I know that these next few months will be difficult but you will look back someday and will be proud that you got through it. Keep your chin up and know that I love you and think about you daily.” It was perfect timing. She also said to “smile” so I went into the stores today and thought about being positive and smiling! It worked. I am way more concerned about my appearance than the people I saw today are. Then, as I was checking out at Costco, the person who helps empty your cart started telling me some jokes. It totally made me forget about my awkwardness and by just this small joke-telling gesture, totally eased my distress. I went to a few other stores with a lot more confidence and pretty soon I wasn’t worried about what others thought. I guess, I don’t have to hid in my house these next few months. “You must do the thing you think you cannot.”
Then when I came home and got on the computer, Shelley H. left this message about ports. Totally made me feel better about my decision!
You look beautiful…and as for your port surgery, it will be a snap…I actually went out to lunch with my husband after my port was “installed” … it will be better for you to have it and; save your veins.
I can understand the emotional roller coaster that you are on. I was chatting with Lynne about that yesterday when I spoke to her. I remember when I was first diagnosed waking up some mornings just terrified….I recall one morning that I walked into my bathroom crying…but didn’t want to let my husband know that I was having a breakdown. In the beginning, after my diagnosis…I remember that cancer was the first thing that I thought of when I woke up in the morning, and the last thing on my mind when I went to bed. You are just at the beginning of all of this, so just give yourself some time. Obviously, you have many people that love you and; that will help you through all of this.
Love the hats as well….you would be ready to attend the Kentucky Derby the first Saturday in May if you were here in Louisville….you would fit right in.
Long distance hugs,
Shelley
I have such an amazing group of people looking out for me. Thanks Patti Clements for the beautiful book called The Hidden Messages in Water. “This book has the potential to profoundly transform your world view.” Mauritia stopped by for a visit with gift certificates for massages from she and Tom. I cannot wait for these! And Kathleen Mourtisen, whose kindnesses just keeps coming, slipped a small journal into my bag on Sunday which will become my go-to book for all the good quotes and note-taking. And Emily and Taylor- so good to see you on Sunday- I love you guys!
I had so much fun at the Service Scholar Banquet. It was great to see everyone! Megan Mansell, Danielle Johnson and Liz Harris did such an amazing job!
Tonight is the Service Scholar Banquet where 48 students will be awarded for doing good- they have logged more than 170 hours of service to their schools, neighborhoods and communities! Impressive group!
Definitely got to work on the bangs w/ the wig! Danielle, Megan, Kenzie, Joanie, Jane, Emilie, Liz
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