Tuesday, August 4

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IMG_6438Taylor and Katie on paddle-boards- Leigh Lake,  Mike and Elle at Swan Lake, Colter Bay, Joe at Moran Bay, Alex at Surprise Lake, Joanie- on Leigh Lake

After brain surgery in January 2014, the neurosurgeon’s advice to me was to prioritize.  I have thought of his words often as most certainly the day slips away from me.  Today, for example, I would like to clean my floors, all of them, really well and I have so many weeds in my yard that are growing out of control but I can’t get to them.  But if I am to heed his advice then writing in my blog is one of the top things on my list.  It often gets pushed to the end and then never makes it.  Yesterday was my first day home from the Tetons.  I really like being able to stay home after a trip and to make things right like washing all the clothes and catching up on everything that needs to be done.  It rained the entire morning and afternoon and proved to be a perfect day for just that sort of thing.  Also, the weather mirrored my feelings. In the Tetons, I could forget about the sadness that seems to be at the core of my life right now.  But even as I say that, that’s not entirely true.  Sure there is sadness and suffering in dealing with a disease that may cost me my life but there is always this choice of a positive attitude.  So yesterday, as I cleaned from the trip, the tears just flowed.  I learned at a young age to hold my tears because somehow I got the message that crying showed weakness or perhaps I didn’t want anyone to know how I felt.  I still feel that way sometimes as an adult.  I like to keep my sad feelings to myself.  I like to work through them and understand them but there are times when I don’t want someone to see the pain or fear.  Anyway, yesterday proved to be cathartic.  I cried and cried in the privacy of my home while I worked and then I felt fine.  Never underestimate the power that a good cry can have on your emotional well-being.

But the Tetons were lovely!  Being in that beautiful place with Joe and our family was heavenly.  Everyone was able to come up for some of the time there.  We swam in that beautiful, healing lake and expressed wonder at the beauty of those mountains. We saw a bear, a moose, elk herds, a clever fox around camp, an antelope, and two large cranes.  We dove into refreshing icy waters, water-skied and wake-boarded, paddle boarded on lakes and streams, we rode our bikes at the base of the Grand Teton, hiked mountain trails to alpine lakes and laughed, sang and meditated along the trails.  We feasted on salad, pizza and Teton bread at Leek’s Marina.  We marveled at the brilliant stars in the night sky as we walked through the wooded trail to the bathrooms.  We roasted marshmellows and talked about the day and laughed about funny events and also not so funny fears.  We starred at the Blue Moon and questioned how a moon could look so huge with nothing around to compare it to.  And, I, as always looked at the glassy waters as they stopped at the shore of Mount Moran and then closed my eyes so that I could cement that memory into my mind for future needs.  And I reflected on these words: “If you’re lucky enough to be in the Tetons, you’re lucky enough.”

But the Tetons were not all happiness and joy.  We cried for the worker who lost his life in the dorm fire.  We awoke after midnight to hear sirens and voices yelling and then an ambulance racing away to Jackson.  My own pain of muscle pulls and shingles were quieted by the cold waters of Jackson Lake, morning hikes and the voices of my grandchildren.  And I hope that Joe Joe’s call for “Joanie” will never be quieted in my mind.

Katesy, Maggie, Mary and Joe Joe at Swan Lake, Nate and Katesy in refreshing waters of Jackson Lake, Gentle waters of Jackson Lake- perfect day!

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