Tuesday, August 25, 2015


Joanie, Janet, Jen at Mount Pilatis, near Luzern, View of the Matterhorn on rail to the Gornergrat

This has been the best of summers.  And this has been the worst of summers.  This has been a summer of joy, of spending time with family, of seeing incredible sights, or taking on hiking adventures and this has been a summer of pain, a pulled scapala, a pulled stomach muscle, discovery of two new tumors, MRIs, Gamma Knife treatment, and rashless shingles on my left arm.  This has been a summer of trying to deal with the reality that I might not be around too much longer and all that entails.  It’s been a summer of crying and grieving for all that I will miss, of grandchildren growing up without me, of a husband living alone in this house we worked on together, of children that I won’t be around when they need my help.  This has been a summer of cot sleeping at Heber Girls’ Camp, getting up nights to shower to relieve the pain, taking lots of ibuprofen to deal with life and trying to be pleasant when I really didn’t feel like being pleasant at all.  Then later in the summer sleeping on a cot at Colter Bay, getting up in the night to pee in the woods hoping not to run into a bear, submerging my body in the cold waters of Jackson Lake to relieve some of the pain.  This has been a summer of travels to Europe with my Mom and sister, Jen.  A summer of traveling on trains through the mountains and valleys of Switzerland, a summer of Matterhorn views on a clear day, of hiking our way along the steep hills to the top of the Gornergrat, and then back through the wooded forests and towns on our way to Zermatt.  A summer of boat rides on Lake Como and shopping in Bellagio, of much Gelato and Swiss chocolate and people watching.  This has been a summer of learning and reflecting and wondering why so many people don’t live full lives.

Today, while playing tennis I watched some younger women walk through the pathway heading to the tennis courts.  I thought that for a minute I would like to be like them, to go back to those days when I took life for granted, when death wasn’t knocking on my door and then I thought, no I don’t want to take life for granted.  But then again, I really tried to live a full life, I always longed to improve, to better myself, to run faster and further.  I have tried to follow Christ’s teachings. I certainly haven’t lived a perfect life by any means, but I have tried to be vested in good things and I am forever grateful for the opportunities I have had to do that.  I have lived without knowing war around me or poverty or extreme hardships.  I have been very fortunate indeed.

Luzern on the morning we left to come back home- Sunday, August 23, 2015.



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