Tuesday, October 4

Quote of the Day:  “To look up and not down, to look forward and not back, to look out and not in, and to lend a hand.”  Edward Everett Hale

Tomorrow I will have surgery for a hysterectomy and be glad to cross another big item off my list.  I’m a bit nervous, as one should be for surgery, but will receive a blessing tonight and that helped so much when I had the mastectomy a few months ago.  Time does press forward.  I remember when it looked as though chemo would last forever and it’s been 3 months since I finished.  I’m not looking forward to taking it easy again as I have loved being able to work in the yard, run and play tennis again but I do have a stack of books that needs reading and a lot of recorded programs on my DVR.  Today means drinking a lot of clear liquids and then starting in on the cleansing process.  If you’ve ever prepared for a colonoscopy, you know what I mean!  Susie came in this morning to run and give me strength for the big “H” and since it was raining, we just sat in her car and talked.  I am so grateful for friends!

Looking back over this year, I have been reflecting about all I’ve learned.  I feel like I am getting a PhD in life.  I have learned so much about the human capacity to serve.  I have been so richly served.  I met a woman at Nordstrom’s one day who noticed that I didn’t have hair under my hat.  She, too, had gone through the chemo/radiation process a few months before me and said:  “You get to find out how incredible your family and friends are”.   How true that statement was.  I have been blown away by the kindnesses of others- true empathetic sadness for what I have been going through.  People have reached out in so many amazing ways.  People have shared stories, brought over gifts, sent flowers, offered services, made meals and the list goes on.  I was also amazed at how deeply people hurt when Lynne was so sick and then passed away.  I have never seen so much food dropped off at a home in gestures of caring and kindness.  But here’s the thing- I wouldn’t trade what I’ve learned.  I’m not sure you can learn those lessons any other way and I am grateful for the person I have become.  Every day does feel like a gift, I can’t get back the old me and that’s ok.  I appreciate nature even more than I did before, every sunrise and sunset makes me stop and ponder and acknowledge the power of God.  It’s given me this precious perspective on life and what’s really important and you can’t buy that kind of knowledge- you have to earn it.  

We had a wonderful service for Lynne on Sunday night- so many people came and it was really a celebration of her life.  My Mom had wanted to give Lynne a beautiful service here in Salt Lake and it was all that.  Lynne would have enjoyed the friends and family gathered in her honor.  Lynne’s friend, Sherri, made a collection of collages for her- the pictures showed lifelong friendships, deep bonds forged through years of association, and a love for each other.  I watched my Mom as she was so deeply saddened by the reality of Lynne’s death and I couldn’t help but get a glimpse at what it means for a parent to lose a child.  How can anything be harder than that?  My Mom has lost 2 daughters and that takes its toll on your soul.  Lynne will be so dearly missed-  she was such a loving daughter and dear friend to my Mom.  We sent off balloons in her honor and the sunset made us feel like Lynne was around us, but yet in a place of peace.  

The family outside Old Mill Golf Course- Lynne’s Memorial

Balloons- sending a message to Lynne