I mentioned this in an earlier post but I have been reading The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin and something she did that I really like is she has her own set of commandments. The first one is listed as “Be Gretchen” and so I have thought a lot about the topic “Be Joanie”. I definitely am adding that to the top of my commandment list. Now, why I wonder do I find it so hard to be me? After all, I like me but then I see some quality that someone else possesses and I not only want to possess that quality, but I consider it superior. Now, I’m not saying that it’s a bad thing to emulate the great qualities others have but I know in the past I have taken it too far. And in that very endeavor, I have lost me. Silly, really. I need to change my thinking. And so I resolve to find what is unique about myself, which qualities I possess and of course which I would like to possess without forfeiting me. And I know that when I do that, I become much more content with what is me and happy to let others have their great qualities without feeling envious.
I scored one point today with the “Be Joanie” commandment. I received an apology and instead of acting as if an apology wasn’t necessary, I simply said “Apology accepted”. In that I felt that I had been true to myself if acknowledging that a wrong had been done. I do need to get past my junior-high ways of not acknowledging what is really happening!
And yesterday, I went to see Dr. Nibley and felt so happy to leave the Cancer Care Center feeling healthy and happy. I am two years out from diagnosis and after seven years I will be able to say “It’s not coming back”. That is my wish and it’s a big one!
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