This waiting game is torturous. I didn’t have any results yet to go by so I just had to think in my mind what would happen. I felt so much better this morning, though, than I did the night before. Maybe, I just needed the morning light to know that things will work out. I had a very calm, peaceful feeling as I went throughout the day. I was grateful for that peace. Stress can play such havoc on our health! I talked w/ one of my students who was in charge of the assembly the following week and told her I may not be there to help. She was so darling and understanding!
I feel sad for Joe. What a horrible position he is in to watch his wife go through this torture knowing he can’t do anything about it. He would trade me, I know, and take this on himself if he could. So that’s another part that’s difficult- worrying about other people worrying about you!
I thing I keep sorting to is that I have tried so hard to eat healthly and keep my body fit and I know compared to the general population, shouldn’t this be happening to someone else? I worked in the Snack Shack to help raise $ for projects this week and was appalled at the horrible food choices we are giving the youth of today. Crazy bread and a donut. How does one function on that?
Part of my thoughts, in going through this process, would focus on what other people (that don’t really even care about me) would think of me when they heard I had cancer. Logically, I understand that to be of no benefit at all but still there must be a part of me that cares way too much what other’s think. I also pictured people looking at me w/ no hair. How will I handle that?
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