Wednesday, June 15

Quote of the Day:  “There is no normal life, there’s just life.  You live it.”  Val Kilmer- Tombstone 1993

Exercise Log:  Last night I did 2.01 miles and then today I did 5.55 (+.45).  Cokie, Jen, Kathy E. and I went and then when we were almost through we saw Melissa so I walked her home getting some extra milage. Today was so beautiful and warm.  It’s in the 80’s and it feels like the warmest day we’ve had.  Alex came with me to get a tri-colored beech tree and he was dying of heat.  Apparently, it wasn’t this warm in Denmark!

With Taxol, I feel really good the first 2 days and also really guilty that people are bringing me dinner.  Tomorrow, the aches will start and last through the weekend and then, if this treatment acts like the former other two, the next week I feel pretty good.  I am anxious to talk to the surgeon hopefully tomorrow or Friday and then the plastic surgeon on Monday.  The advocate called from the IMC Cancer Center- she is setting up the BRCA 1 testing for Alex and Michael.  She said that they won’t need to do a blood test, they now do a mouth swab.  They will do that when I do my last treatment.

One of my new favorite shows is called The Middle with Patricia Heaton.  I like it because it’s this middle-class family living very average lives and it’s clean.  It kind of reminds me of the old shows some of us grew up with like the Brady Bunch or Leave it to Beaver and some of the family issues they face.  One episode, the mom is sad because her youngest child doesn’t want to run errands with her anymore and he’s 9.  It reminds me how much I like to run errands with my kids but that rarely happens.  Let’s face it, boys don’t like to run errands- when they were little, they would prefer to be home playing with their toys or to have a friend over.  Time spent going from store to store was too much.  I think I missed out on having someone with me who wanted to go shopping.  I’m guessing that girls like to do that more than boys.  Anyway, it has been great to have Alex home, because he has come with me to help or in the hopes that I will buy him clothes or other items.  It’s ok, I’m good with that as long as he accompanies me!

This last treatment has been a turning point of sorts.  I feel hopeful that I can see the end with treatment number #8 around the corner.  And I feel more hopeful that I can put some of this behind me.  It’s wise that they have you do the hardest chemo first and even that they have you do chemo before radiation (most say it’s not as bad as chemo.)  Also, I feel like it’s a major step that I can check off on my road to recovery.  I even find myself forgetting that I may have cancer.  I really don’t know.  It could have been gone after the first surgery.  Also, I am more comfortable going places with a hat or scarf.  I don’t notice the looks as much and I don’t feel so self-conscious.  I do like how easy it is to get ready in the morning without hair but really I miss my hair.  I have a picture of me with my hair looking particularly good next to my computer so I can remember what I used to look like with hair.  I will be glad to get it back but in the meantime, I will just deal with it and learn how to live without hair!


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